And I, was hopefully in love with him.
And I, was hopefully in love with him.
How is it that you can make me feel so at peace with myself?
When you're gone I'm all a-flutter
~
Shopping online right now
Sigh, asos.
-
Monday- School ended earlier than expected so me, A and D headed out for lunch at 313, then down to D's mom's hotel room at mbs. Kinda ended up sleeping there till about 4 and rushed back to school for soccer training till late.
Tuesday- Headed down to the infinity pool at mbs after school with A S D for a dip after school, such a long draggy process actually dragging ourselves there in the first place but we finally made it. From then on it was pool tanning (which kind of didn't work out cuz it was such a short period of time and we were moving about so much) cocktails and fries (2 HUGE BOWLS!!) with alot of tomato sauce and chili sauce and alot of sauce flicking hahahaha.
Wednesday
Cip with A C B F J Y S ! I know, cip.. sad life. But my group members were a joy to be around. Had Popeyes and headed back to school while suffering from some kind of bad case of cramps (which didn't actually come with a period, strange.) Met C and went for the KI trip with some of the SH2s to the National Museum and had a great time indulging in art pieces belonging to the Musee d'Orsay exhibition. Dinner at some Jap place, had tuna sashimi, mm.
Thursday
Cip again, followed by Orchard and Causeway point with mumsies before I dragged my tired ass home lugging my new sheets (Yay! Pretty) and other stuff while she got dinner. Oh, some ITE dudes were being creepy while I was struggling to get myself out of the lrt station with the goddamned sheets, kept whistling and screaming "HI" and banging on the glass that separated us...not cool.
Friday
CNY celebrations at school, boring as hell totes didn't see the point..school y u no just let us sleep in? Had team lunch after that and headed to D's house to rest before going to town to get S's clutch for cny and a couple of other things. Me and A both agreed that we should've just stayed at D's house to sleep in or sth hahaha totes not in the mood to shop but ironically we both got a couple of tops from stradivarius. S went home while D and A went to IMM to get A's stuff, I stayed back thinking about meeting a friend but GUESS WHAT, bb died. Was so pissed off and so began my indignant search along Orchard road for a spare bb battery/portable charger and YESSSSS got it! Portable charger I mean. As I was walking back all chirpy on the inside cuz my phone was finally working and along came some guy and we had a really weird exchange that left me kind of annoyed. He was asking for my number and one "no" wasn't enough but it took a series of "no"s and me just walking off to stop it and what made me kind of angry was when I said " Sorry I don't give out my number like that" and he said "What kind of excuse is that?" and I just replied "Its not an excuse its a fact, so no." EXCUSE? EXCUSE?? EXCUSE ME WHILE I REJECT YOU FOR THE THIRD TIME IN 2 MINUTES DUDE. And after that, he said "theres a first time for everything, I won't spamcall you or spamtext you at most I'll just find out where you live LOL" "lol funny, no." "aw come on if it doesn't work out its okay" "NO" "you wont know until you try it out right?" "dude, no" and I just walked off cuz obvsly he's not absorbing anything I'm saying which is just ONE word. Seriously guys, if you ever are in that position and someone says no, just take it like a man and accept it don't question her decision after she gives you an explanation cuz when she gives you an explanation obviously she doesn't want to give you her number ok. Anyway yeah I was kind of annoyed at how he seemed to question everything I said even before asking for my number "oh are you sgpn?" "yes I am" "oh you don't sound sgpn" "well i am" "you're not from overseas?" "no." UGHH facepalm headdesk headwall you name it. #angstkid95 hahaha but srss isn't that soo annoying!
Saturday
Day was kind of dreary, I chose to sleep in. Sigh the joy of keeping those windows shut for a few moments - and by moments I mean hours - more. Heaven. Ate aloooot today and finally headed out to btp w rents to buy stuff for cny like food and shizz. Tried out this place at btp for dinner and bumped into Shan!!!! Seem to be seeing that girl everywhere hahaha but who's complaining hmm heh. Turns out she most prolly aint gna come to my school, sigh ): Went to those plantation places near farmart and got some really cute plant! Farmart for a drink w rents and home sweet home.
So, that kind of sums up my week. I knoww, weekly blogging like this is soo dry but it kinda helps me keep track of my have-done and yet-to-bes while I'm at it. Sorry guys, you don't have to read it):
Sigh, still so much to say apart from my week and shizz. Gonna be so bored for the next few days, hopefully cny is gonna be enough to keep my brain occupied! I have friends out of the country for a bit, mmmm jelly and boredd.
x luvyallz.
Rachel
p/s HAPPY CNY!
and some other book that is currently stranded somewhere in the living room that is supposed to inspire me to eat right and healthy, and shizz. Hmmm
Hahahahahahha
Anyway all those books (many of them classics) kind of happened to just catch my eye as I was dancing up and down the aisles of books
Not really dancing ( I was carrying a basket heavy of books, it is quite impossible ), more like struggling and waddling awkwardly but inside I was being dancey and floaty
Bookstores are quite a dream, are they not?
I can't quite decide which book to start on first! There are a couple I remember borrowing from the library when I was little but darn, some books you just kind of have to have it for your own hahahaha. I'm thinking, The Great Gatsby, The Black Arrow, Tess of the DÚrbervilles or Frankenstein? Maybe Sons and Lovers or the two books worth of shorter stories. Ah, the most delightful dilemma.
-
Time for some tea and a great book, warm sheets and soft music.
x
Chilling to Shuffle by BBC (on youtube people, YOUTUBE) at the moment and am in utter dismay that I'm not attending that concert right now.
:( x asldkjfw923rjfwao;eif0128390123ekasfdljasdf @ the way my sad life works.
Sigh.
Anyway at Lizzy's birthday right now
I have stolen away from all the hustle bustle of our very-frequent family birthday dinners to snuggle in the huge spinning chair to indulge in words.
- hell, its like someone from my family is born every week or something! But I totally dig how this all works out all the time.
Nothing better than family to keep me from over-moping. :')
Spent my day at Vivocity, lunch at Marches ( how do you do that little slanted dash about the e on this keyboard I have no idea) with rents and the rest of my time wa spent at Page One buying books. YES BOOK SHOPPING!!!!! *dies of happiness* I bought a total of 13 books I believe, all the classics. I will very possibly upload the list of books I bought when I get home because I'm just so pleased. The dork that I am guys, the dork that I am. Slept in for a bit and headed over to my Lizzy's house for steamboat dinner, and it is apparent that I have added too much of my aunt's homemade chili into my noodles because I downed so much water so fast I couldn't eat anymore after that. Well, I will stuff my face later I guess, hmm. heheh.
Will post the booklist later on~! Shall tend to my dying bb and my cousins, x
AGH HATE BB BATTERY LIFE.
1. Make myself some tea
2. Quit feeling upset about having to skip TPP
3. Breakfast with Beckah at HV asap
4. Starbucks with Nic asap
5. File my literature and english language and linguistics Pieces I Have Studied because they are oh, so beautiful
6. Get around to writing about my life (its not that I don't want to guys, i'm just so tired nowadays, mentally. And everytime I decide OH SCREW WORK, WORK Y U SO MESSED UP I'M GONNA BLOG - i'm faced with the dilemma of "Onsugar or Tumblr?" and "To continue my december post or just delete that crap?"
Sigh, life of a firstworld teenager huh.
7. Wokay 6. just kind of killed the mood. Yes I'm being a Very Moody Teenager tonight. And it's not even that time of the month, HUGE LOL.
School's been great though, for those of you who are wondering. First week of school was quite a dear. Firstly, at the moment, I have a wonderful timetable. 15 hours of break, guys, FIFTEEN! Ahmaazeenngg. Okay so summing up everyday in one-liners
Monday: HCL and O'level results out. Went back to SC and all before training. Hmmmm
Tuesday: Ooh forgot. But first KI lesson! :)
Wednesday: NJ open house yeaaaaah met up with a few luvlies throughout the day and had drama, sweet~
Thursday: NJ open house again, met shan! Hope she's coming~ Ohh and I slept real early.
Friday: Had training till late. Worst part? Didn't get to go for the party): Meh, strict parents and a tired ass to get off. Oh well, friday the 13th.
Sorry for the boring post guys, would elaborate but I'm so tired.
Goodnight, much love.
x
It has hit me that I might end up never posting my What I Did This December Holiday post EVER.
Anyway I'm feeling rather- to put it simply, sad. I'm feeling rather sad right now. Sad and helpless. Pathetic, really.
-
I've always been a guarded girl. I don't trust people easily. I always think first. Sometimes I overthink. It isn't always a bad thing. My guardedness keeps me pretty safe from getting hurt, be you a guy or girl. But you know those few people that you just completely trust without thinking thrice? Some from the start, some mystical enigma that just draws you to them and some mischievious sprite happens to catch you in that moment offguard and he whispers softly into your subconscious mind "you can trust this kid, you know you can" and somehow everything just falls into place, you two start to talk and you start to text, nothing serious. Playful and always testing limits, you two start twirling careless emotions into sentences. He (I'm focusing on just guys tonight) starts to call, and you start off surprised but soon it becomes routine. He calls you some nights, you call him some days. You find him lingering in your mind some time between texts, after goodnights, the seconds before you open your eyes the next morning. You get reliant, but you tell yourself its okay, its okay. He won't leave. He needs you too.
But does he?
Truth is, you will never know.
The story always ends with someone giving up. At the beginning, its a fun ride. You tease, you kid, its like some kind of cyber fairytale. Some days it's serious, some days it just feels like some kind of game. Then you do something wrong, or he does. Someone does something wrong. The level of wrong can vary from a simple bad choice of words, lack of punctuation perhaps, to a brutal test of time, or some adaptation of Adele's "Rumor has it". God knows, right? Someone gets lazy, someone lets go, and no matter how hard you fight it, deny it, it will happen. The fairytale you thought you built with brick and stone crumbles. Your perfect tale isn't so perfect after all, is it?
-
And some people wonder why I'm so guarded.
I've been working on this post so long that it will blow your mind and it gives you a terribly drab account of what i've been up to over the december holidays. But for tonight, I'll save those fond memories of 2011 and wrap them up in pink tissue to admire and reminisce for another day. Today is 01.01.2012.
-
Isn't it magnificent and incredibly daunting? This whole idea of a new year. It has never scared me this much before. No, scared isn't the word. More like excited. Not the hyperventilating version of excited where a thousand bunnies seem to be kicking about in my very being but the quiet shiver of excitement. The kind that makes us simple beings tingle just simply wondering about what there is in store for you and me in the days to come.
Honestly, I'm feeling so brave right now. I feel armed, with my vision-book-worthy 2012 scheduler and all my new beautiful stationery and bags and shoes and wallets and accessories and clothes and gorgeous friends -- angels sent down to keep my wailing inconsistent imperfect being company, the lilting, lovely music that feeds my soul so fully and beautifully-- I mean after all, what is a siren without her song?
-
On that note, I have to thank you -yes you- thank you for always being there/ making my life at least vaguely interesting whenever you guys are present/ loving me despite my shortcomings (and I promise to love you despite your mistakes and shortcomings). I love you guys so so much these words can barely contain. My family, my friends, and my friends that are like family. Thank you. Please continue to stay in my life.
-
I don't expect this year to be perfect, or easy, but I have a feeling its going to be good. No regrets.
-
x
I'm going to be 16 at 0000 ahhhh
I know, most people think it doesn't seem like such a big deal (especially when most of theirs have already passed considering mine is so late and I kinda have been through the junior high 4 year already) BUT IT IS.
To me anyway.
It kind of feels like a new start to everything, and I have this feeling that next year is going to be spanking awesome.
:) no shit.
I'm not usually so positive about these kinda things but I kinda had some kinda vision/hunch thing, hmm:>
On the phone with BexyRexy now and nehneh sent me a birthday text since shes going to NYC tonight. :")
Prolly going to be spending my day out with Mama Ang tomorrow hahaha, gonna be getting my debit card!!:-) and she always insists that birthdays should be with family soo..thats cool with me I guess, kinda.
My actual birthdays always prove to be really ordinary and like, yeah. but considering imma be celebrating it with Bex and Rach its okay! around like...xmas. I KNOW /rollseyes. but thats when we all will be back and NO IT WONT BE A XMAS PARTY. for xmas we can have another party. all the different reasons to celebrate. ;)
Meg's birthday celebration thing is next week idk what to get her eeee!! but I can't wait to see all of 'em.
ok daz all for now. i'm in a dilemma of whether to crop my pp or not. UGH LIFE IS SO HARD RN.
Love you guys xx
p/s birthday dinner was great((: I love my whole extended family so so much. <3 and lizzy got me this uhdurreablee teddy omg it.is.so.soft.it is IMPOSSIBLE!!!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee^^
-
Haha recently I feel as if I don't give a fuck about the world anymore.
And as far as I can see, its a good thing.
Hurr(;
20,21,23,24.11.2011
Was spent working at Clay Cove!
Okay I had alot of fun and everything (at both marmalade and clay cove) but honestly I CANNOT see myself working longterm, no siree. Even when I grow up, but:( I guess I'd have to. I hope some irresistable job opportunity totally just knocks on my door and present itself to me meheheheh.
22.11.2011
Met Nic and Swong at Holland V for brunch at brekos mm
I think I ate the most. Hahah oinkoink ^.^ in my defence I had training later and I needed the energy
(BUT HONESTLY, I CONSUME SO MUCH SUSTENANCE NOWADAYS I CAN ACTUALLY FEEL MYSELF SWELLING UP.) Officially gaining weightttt.
I digress. Yes, it was spanking spending time w them, Bex couldn't make it tho. After a really long brunch we cabbed down to Haji Lane, the cab uncle was soo talkative like he would INTERRUPT us just to talk..he must be really bored or sth poor uncle:-( HAJI LANE IS BEEYOOTEEFOOL mm havta get my ass down there again soon. After that we split up- Swong went home and Nic went back to my sch area w me to go home and get changed to send her sis off or sth and I had traininggg. Training felt really good (even in the rain).
26.11.2011
Had to work at CC again (since I already agreed beforehand just for that sat-they were short of people..) till 3, then met mummy and daddy at Marina Sq as usual. Daddy surprised me with the Fujifilm Polaroid Cam in Piano Black awwww <3 he called it my early birthday present heheh #touched. Anyway I think my 16th birthday is just going to suck. I have nothing planned out and the whole Me Bex and Rach party thing can only happen towards the end of dec after me and Rach come back to sgp. so my actual birthday will just suck.
Oh got my first pay check on the 28th, for my first week at CC! YAY i guess one of the perks of working is the money (and the exp but yea like I said, can't see myself working long term unless there is something I'm spankingly passionate about but just not a small random parttime-ish job somewhere yknw). ANW Y M I WASTING MY YOUTH HAHAHAHAHA
ugh i really wanna get my cartilage piercings aslkdjfcaosjkkldcsasd. Dad and mum prolly won't agree though we always end up having a tiff over this.
29.11.2011
Worked.
Then headed down to mp to return my shirt (but after that I found out I didn't have to..) and decided to get purple and green extensions. I only got like $8 in one bunch so they aren't obvious, my hair is too thickk. Should I cut my fringe again or just leave it to grow out
30.11.2011 (which is today)
I slept till. 4pm. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA exhausted.
Daz all for now.
Thinking of just creating a Wordpress and concentrating on that and my Tumblr. Up till now I have aloot of difficulty finding out how to post photos AND blog at the same time on Onsugar. Meh.
Shall go for a swim now. Maybe I'll just end up floating
x
You taught me how not to feel.